My Own Ash
Spring 2019 My Own Ash http://www.tinvan.limo/2019/03/au-thoi.html There was no body of water in this dream but it must have been my ash in the urn my lover was holding and trembling. My mother was beside him in a neat coat and stylish eyeglasses and high heels that brought her head to the height of his chin. I couldn’t remember having this wish or telling my lover to cremate me —I thought we used to be grave-lovers. I had always wanted after death for my relatives to visit me. It was a ritual in my mother’s life to take me to her own mother’s grave even though I had never met her though my mother strongly claimed otherwise: she had died a few years after my birth. The ash wasn’t plentiful, the wind not strong to buoy my many pieces across the patch of grassland I was being flung unto. My mother looked like someone who would rather have been